Wednesday, April 16, 2008

i'm not trying to be crude

i'll be as grown-up as i can about this. but i have some major issues with public bathrooms.

issue #1 -

stall walls. there is a good foot and a half between the bottom of the wall of a stall and the floor. is that necessary? call me crazy, but sitting with my pants/underwear around my completely visible feet makes me a little uncomfortable. if there was EVER a time that i would want walls to connect all the way to the ground, it would be while i'm sitting half-naked on a porcelin basin of water... i won't go any further, you get the idea. is it so much trouble to ask for an extra foot of wall?

issue #2 -

stall doors. what is with the 1-inch gap where the door hinges are? there's nothing i love more than making split-second awkward eye contact with the people washing their hands in the sink directly in front of my stall, through the mirror. someone needs to hone their skills in the art of doormaking.

issue #3 -

quiet bathrooms. i mean, dead silent. i don't know how to explain this without being disgusting.. but perhaps i've crossed that line, and hopefully those who are offended have already quit reading. when you are in close proximity - i mean stall to stall - with someone and you're both executing a very private human function.. the least you could ask for is maybe some light oldies playing over the radio. maybe even just a fan. anything that produces noise. that's all i need. for my sake, and for my neighbors sake.

anyways. i'm sorry. apologies all around. i just had to get that out.